Dealing with Difficult People in the Family Who Cut You Off

Published: 19th March 2010
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Dealing with difficult people includes working with difficult people but also those in the family system who are distressing. In our recent consultations with clients here's a sample of the type of experience when dealing with difficult people in the family system.



AN EXAMPLE OF FAMILY MEMBER CONFLICT



Here is what one person has explained. I sure appreciate your advice on coping with difficult people. What I have noted though is in dealing with difficult people at work or acquaintance type relationships it is easier than with family members. I am changing the way I am interacting with my family members and the more I do this, the more persistent and stubborn some of them have become in trying to keep things the same.



CHANGING THE COMMUNICATION RULES WITH OTHERS



When I started setting limits, setting boundaries and speaking out about how I truly feel there was a backlash. As other family members have continued to try and stick their nose into my personal space I have been very strong to keep reminding them about my personal boundaries. However, a close family member has stopped talking to me altogether and cut off all communication.



DEALING WITH DIFFICULT PEOPLE AND NOTHING NEW



This response from other people is nothing new. This occurs when dealing with difficult people at work and personal experience. When you alter your communication patterns with someone, their first response is to keep working harder to keep the communication the same. When you still persist to change your communication, they often respond by cutting off their communication.



FAMILIES AND COPING WITH DIFFICULT PEOPLE



Dealing with difficult people in family is far more complicated than dealing with difficult people at work. This is because family members know more about you often. There's years of dysfunctional communication been happening. When someone tries to alter the way they communicate, others often react out of all proportion. They show greater resistance to changing these communication patterns. Often becoming more negative or cutting off communication altogether.



NO COMMUNICATION - WHAT DOES THIS MEAN?



There's many ways to handle things when a member of the family cuts off communication with you. But the most vital point for you to remember in dealing with difficult people in any situation is this.



PEOPLE AND DECIDING FOR THEMSELVES



Here it is. In the end other people must take responsibility. You can attempt to work through the issues with them. But ultimately, it's their decision whether or not they cut off all communication with you.



LET IT GO IN DEALING WITH DIFFICULT PEOPLE



You have to be aware that no matter how you attempt to handle the situation, sometimes family members decide to 'cut all ties' and no longer communicate with you. You need to recognize that in the end it is their decision to behave in this way. You have to actually respect their decision and let go in dealing with difficult people. Let go, give them the space they have demanded and get on with living your life.



DEALING WITH PEOPLE FINDING MORE IDEAS



In further articles we'll look at other methods of dealing with people who cut of communication with you. But now stop the guilt. Remember that the decisions adults make are their own choices. Dealing with difficult people in the family means understanding, as you do in dealing with difficult people at work, that everybody makes their own decisions about their lives.





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Ready for more ideas on dealing with those difficult people in your life? Then as an international expert on employee retention, stress and dealing with people, Dr Judy Esmond invites you to grab a free copy of her Guide on Dealing with Difficult People by clicking on this link http://www.dealingwithdifficultpeople.com

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